jewish dad jokes are next level my friend started dating a dude named elijah and upon meeting him for the first time her dad greeted him saying “oh it’s so good to finally meet you after setting a place for you every seder” like how can you top that
some people’s blogs are being incorrectly flagged as being explicit so if you would like to check your status, you can look it up on postlimit.com.
if you have been incorrectly marked as nsfw, you can appeal before tumblr permanently filters you as such and your blog is set back to default settings prior to december 18th here.
So, as it’s roughly explained, the state alchemist program is a kind of “recruit potential human sacrifices” mechanism, with a side-order of “brute strength for the army”. But basically, the state alchemist title is mostly about being a researcher–given people like Shou Tucker exist, and given that the only requirement to stay a state alchemist is to submit a yearly report of your research that says “look I’m still being a useful scientist”.
So far, so far this is sensible, yeah? Father and the delightful children from down the lane are running a recruitment program for potential human sacrifices. So sure–butter them up! Give them lots of money, get them buddy-buddy with the government, and give them endless resources for research. It’s be pretty easy to trick a state alchemist in that position to open the portal if Sugar DaddyBradley is nudging them to do it.
And I’m still willing to go with this logic for the whole “draft the state alchemists into war” move. They make it pretty clear that was something of a last-ditch effort. And the blood transmutation circle around Amestris was an absolute necessity for Father’s plan. So the risk of a few state alchemists dying or resigning from your Potential Sacrifice Pool is worth it for the completion of the circle.
Now. To get to my fucking thought.
Edward fucking Elric. This fucking fight-me 12 year old troglodyte shows up to the exam and performs circle-less transmutation in front of mother fucking Bradley, demonstrating to one of the seven Actual Fucking Homunculi that he’d already opened the portal. Ed was literally prepped as a human sacrifice before he showed up to Central. A fully set human sacrifice showed up at the homunculi’s door, said “hey look what I can do!”, proved he’d opened the mother fucking portal already, and said “hey yeah hire me”. Human sacrifice, free shipping, no assembly required, handcuffs not included!
They could have just tossed Ed into a shoebox and kept him there until the Promised Day. They wouldn’t even need to make up an excuse he attacked the f u c k i n g president. That’s fucking treason babey. He’s 12, he’s an orphan, he’s from a rural town in buttfuck nowhere, he’s literally the easiest person alive to disappear.They could have arrested him for assassination crimes, kept him in gay baby jail, and just popped him out for the Promised Day
What do they do instead?! “Oh lmao this kid’s great. Let’s give him infinite money, no supervision, no governmental responsibilities, access to all our secret resources, and toss him on a train to who-the-fuck-knows-where-land”
They fucking did that
And like? They then had the audacity to be concerned when Edward “Fight Me” Elric almost got himself killed about 293 times. Just an endless game of “I thought u were watching him” from one homunculus to another when Ed fucking absconds half-way across the globe to go entice some other hostile entity into murdering him to death. That’s the whole series. Every arc is Ed baiting death while the homunculi are in the background like “:/ wish he wouldn’t do that”
This only gets worse when you consider they later learned Al opened the portal too because really?? These two stab-happy globe-trotting public menaces are 40% of your final evil plan for godhood. 40%. Almost half. You couldn’t fucking set aside a cardboard box to keep these idiots in?
We all knew Father was terrible at planning when we learned his thousands-of-years-in-the-making-plan involved him procrastinating until the last five minutes to get his last sacrifice, while he was?? playing chess in his fucking basement, I guess. But it’s like every time I think about it like really think about it I find 7 more reasons Father was a fucking shit idiot moron, king of the stupid fucking idiot club, flesh and blood founder of seven other established dumbasses, all living in their idiot hovel under central, just giving random dumbass 12 year olds infinite money, j u s t b e c a u s e.
People in the replies trying to explain Father’s actions fall into one of three categories
Father didn’t baby-gate Ed because humans are like ants to him and he had no concept of how thoroughly Ed and co. could fuck his shit up
Father and the Hot Topic Brigade didn’t lock Ed up because they recognized the unbridled chaotic 12-year-old energy compressed into such a small vessel and they understood no jail cell on earth would reliably hold this thing
Father and his sin-sonas didn’t put Ed in a box because locking Ed away in their lair would mean dealing with Edward Elric day-in and day-out in their own home for the next four years and frankly even godhood isn’t worth certain flavors of hell.
I would like to add that this entire plan hinged on literally nobody wondering why their country was a perfect circle, when that country regularly uses circles to do alchemy. For like…thousands of years. And it worked until like the last two months.
It’s Ami Angelwings, the person who owns and runs Escher Girls.
If you haven’t seen my previous responses yesterday, I am aware of Tumblr moving to ban all content flagged as NSFW on Dec 17 and therefore I’m moving Escher Girls off of Tumblr.
This has been a long time coming and I’ve talked about it before, but due to school (and my social anxiety about asking for donations) I’ve been slow to do it or to start my Patreon to fund the expenses involved (domain registering, hosting, moving the posts over, site upgrades, etc). Obviously, the clock is now ticking and the threat of losing a project you put 7 years of effort into turns out to be pretty motivating.
If people want to help support my work and help me move Escher Girls off Tumblr and preserve it (aside from a fun blog I’ve always intended it also to be a useful archive for anybody wanting examples).
As well, it’ll help me improve the site and add more things like videos and reviews (I already make videos if people don’t know! check out my Patreon for more details!)
As for what else people can do to help, I’ve already registered a domain thanks to a generous donation last night (http://www.eschergirls.com) but we still haven’t decided on a hosting service. If anybody knows a good hosting service based in Canada, please let me know. I’m likely going to use either WordPress or Drupal as my CMS. And if you could reblog, tweet, and otherwise share this post and spread the word about Escher Girls around that would be great too, just so people can follow us to our new home! 😀
As someone not involved in the development of pillowfort but am a web developer, I think you should lower your expectations, but not for the reason you think.
Pillowfort is a baby. A newborn. A smol bab. If you were here during the early days of Tumblr, think of that.
Pillowfort simply cannot be the immediate solution to your woes. It needs to be nurtured and cared for to become a mature and happy adult.
If you want Pillowfort to work, they’ll need feedback, advice, bug reports, etc. This is a chance to make Pillowfort the Ao3 of Fanfiction.net. It’s not gonna happen overnight, you need to give it time and love and it’ll get there.
If you don’t want to pay money to get into the beta, that’s ok. It will be open to the public soon enough and you won’t have to pay a dime. Their financial model moving forward sounds good (a subscription fee for super extra features), but even an Ao3 model would work swell for them probably.
We’re living in an interesting time on the internet. Governments across the world are cracking down on content and yet community run websites are starting to thrive more and more.
Tumblr once upon a time was what Pillowfort is today, but this time, let’s make sure Pillowfort can stay independent from mega corporations.
Be good to the bab, so one day the bab can be good to you.
raise your babs well and you won’t get put in a old folks home that smells like pee.
This is an important thing to think about. If we want fandom spaces, we have to help care for them – with content, yes, but they’re going to need money and community support to thrive independently. They’re going to need people willing to be patient when they stumble.
While there’s ultimately no guarantee any community won’t eventually be sold off to a corporation, we can make it a lot less likely to happen by a) giving it a feasible way to support itself and b) not being absolute assholes to the team behind it.
DarkestElemental616 