“Jesus christ eat the goddamn mac and cheese.” scowls the hero “I can hear your stomach growling through your armor, you know.”
The villain blinks “You-”
“Are feeding you, yes. If all I wanted to do was punch people and throw criminals in jail, I would’ve become a vigilante. Heroism involves kindness, dipshit.”
“Heroism involves kindness, dipshit” is the most amazing phrase I’ve ever read. I need to incorporate it into all my work.
This straight up sounds like something Spider-Man would say
This is what people who actually know how to write Batman would say
the ross sisters: come for the three part harmony about potato salad, stay for the choreographed three part exorcism
Look I recommend a lot of content on this ole blog of mine but if I may click bait you for a second with a screenshot of the first stunt in this video to straight up make me scream in terror and awe:
You Won’t Believe What Happens Next
This scene is so fucking wild y’all I’m not even touching on the song which I literally cannot comprehend and hey have listened to ten times today (I am still unclear on whether “solid potato salad” is a good thing or bad thing. what is the ideal matter state of potato salad) but the bending, the bending, we must address the bending
Nightmare
Extra Nightmare
FUCKING INHUMAN STUNTS PERFORMED BY WOMEN MADE OF STEEL AND JELLY AND BEFORE YOU ASK NO THIS SCENE DOES NOT APPEAR TO HAVE HAD ANY PARTICULAR RELEVANCE TO THE PLOT, IT ENTERS AS INEXPLICABLY WONDERFULLY AS IT LEAVES
Filed under: things I fully expect Dick Grayson to be capable of. He and his brothers will regularly do this just to freak random criminals out, and crime usually drops for the next month or so as a result.
I’m 85% sure Batman has really really bad Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Not, “keep things tidy” or “wash my hands until they bleed” but, like, his obsession with being Batman and fighting crime is driven by fear. The repeating thought of “if I don’t become this bat vigilante then people will die” is… irrational. But he doesn’t see it that way. He trains. He can’t not train. If he doesn’t then people die. He pushes himself to the brink of death, pushing himself beyond the limitations of his body because if he relents for just a moment people will die. It’ll be his fault. He needs to be out on the street every night. He needs to train every day.
Without people like Alfred, his obsession would’ve killed him within the first year. That’s not normal. He literally cannot stop himself from going out and fighting crime. He tried to stop being Batman before, but he always come back to it. He’s too afraid. He needs to be Batman. It’s all he thinks about.
By all means he should be dead. He’s basically insanely smart and lucky.
Thinking he’s personally responsible for the deaths in Gotham is his obsession. His compulsion is to train all the time and to go out every night to fight criminals.
Batman definitely has obsessive compulsive disorder.
Other examples of his irrational ways of thinking include
“I need to be miserable and alone.”
“Using a gun makes me as bad as the serial killers”
“Killing no matter the circumstance will turn me into someone like the Joker.”
In a DC Nation comic they put multiple hero’s sanctuary files, Batman being one of them, and at the bottom listed their diagnoses conditions.
DarkestElemental616 