indicativeof-sideways-escalation:

africanaquarian:

me, learning about the greek pantheon in elementary: wow, I love athena, so brave and smart

me, after reading about the story of medusa: athena is a spiteful, dumb bitch who can’t direct her anger at the right people! wack ass hoe

Me, after learning than Medusas head was used as a sign of safety and female autonomy in women’s spaces because it was seen as a gift from Athena, to allow Medusa never to be harmed that way again: oh dope, Athenas on our side. Kill a man who dares to look upon you with possession in his heart.

Me, after learning that Athena holds herself to the ‘not like other girls’ standard and usuallys sides with whatever the nearest dick-toting diety says: what the fuck what a fake bitch

Me, after learning that most of the media depicting Greek Gods by the ancient Greeks that survives today was commissioned, designed, and made by men, and therefore does not depict female interpretation or telling of the myths, and is probably extremely biased towards a misogynistic portrayal of a strong woman: the canon Athena was in our hearts all along.

Alternative Titles for the Iliad

patroclusmyson:

1-Hello Naughty Trojans it’s Murder Time

2-100 Times a Therapist was Needed

3-This War Really Wasn’t Worth it

4-Fight Club but it’s just Achilles

5-Patroclus Didn’t Deserve this

6-Things Historians Pretend aren’t Gay

7-Nothing Means Anything we’re all Going to Die

8-Hector Gets his Ass Handed to Him

9-There is no Heterosexual Explanation for This

10-Fuck it up, Achilles

11-Someone is Responsible for this but not Helen

to my aro/ace friends and smols: if you’re ever feeling undervalued, remember Hestia

iopele:

puddle-brigade:

You know, Hestia. The greek Goddess of the hearth and home. simultaneously the oldest and youngest of the Olympian Gods. Hestia turned down marriage propsals from both Poseidon and Apollo, two of the arguably most desirable gods in the hellenic pantheon. Instead, she asked her brother Zeus, king of the heavens, for permission to never marry and never have to take a lover or anything. Which he granted. Without question. Zeus, lord of sleeping around, did not question his ace sister when she said that’s who she was. That is some divine allyship, yo.

She went on to be the Goddess of the Hearth. For ancient greeks, the hearth was the center of the home and the center of worship for the family. In ritual practice, Hestia always recieved the first (best) and last part of any sacrifice. Put that in context of patriarchal societies where the “father” of the group “always” recieved the best part of a meal. But not Hestia. No, your friendly hometown goddess was venerated before the king of the heavens, without question or anything. Hestia was the center of the family, the center and grounding point of the home, and was treated as such. 

The lesson for aces here is that you are worthy of being yourself without question. You are a valuable member of your community, a most valuable member of your family, and if you are not treated like it, maybe take after Hestia, and burn those motherfuckers to the ground.

I need to print this out a hundred times and staple it to every flat surface in my home