Tag: humor

testblogdontupvote:

collapsedsquid:

Turkish joke. A prisoner goes to the jail’s library to borrow a book.
The librarian says: “We don’t have this book, but we have its author”

(x)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russian_political_jokes

Three men are sitting in a cell in the (KGB headquarters) Dzerzhinsky Square. The first asks the second why he has been imprisoned, who replies, “Because I criticized Karl Radek.”
The first man responds, “But I am here because I spoke out in favor of
Radek!” They turn to the third man who has been sitting quietly in the
back, and ask him why he is in jail. He answers, “I’m Karl Radek.”

thats-slightly-raven:

brethompson1704:

thats-slightly-raven:

this tank top makes my boobs look so amazing I just walked into a door because I was distracted by my own cleavage good morning everyone

its 8:30 at night

This post is 2 months old but it’s nice to see you can tell the time that’s a very good skill to have mate

tabiturtle:

i will never forget the Harley Quinn cosplayer that sat behind me during an O.W.Ls exam at a con and singlehandedly wiped the floor of everyone else with her HP trivia knowledge giving Slytherin house a ton of points. at the very end of the panel she leaned forward to me and silently whispered “i work as a guide at Harry Potter World at Universal” with the most evil grin on her face. what a Slytherin thing to do. well played, Harley Quinn of my dreams. well played.

dogseatingpasta:

kyraneko:

curlicuecal:

bloodmancer:

i never want context

Oh my god, they sprang this on us in our old church years ago, and my family has never let this joke die.

Okay, here’s the stupid gender essentialist metaphor:

Women are like spaghetti because their thoughts noodle all over the place. Men are like waffles because there thoughts are in boxes. Men aren’t bad listeners, they just can’t keep up with a conversation when women are noodling topics so fast and they have to keep switching boxes. Also, when a woman asks a man what he’s thinking and he says “nothing” women just don’t understand that some of a man’s boxes literally have nothing in them, haha!

….. 😐

Anyway, if you think me and my brothers and my mom don’t constantly give each other sad, tragic faces and say “I’m sorry, my waffle box is empty today” and “noodle faster!” and “you are failing at being a waffle” and “I can’t be clearer, I am a plate of spaghetti” pretty much indiscriminately in all directions all the time…. you would be wrong.

Occasionally the context of a Dadaist post makes it even better.