Tag: immortals

peachywise:

john mulaney looked so stunned to win the emmy because now his immortal life is recorded in history, so 100 years from now when a historian asks him why he looks so much like that emmy award-winning comedian, he’s going to have to throw his money clip in order to distract them

wombatking:

wombatking:

newtgeiszler:

jesterofthetraveler:

I agree john mulaney is probably an immortal akin to beings such as keanu reeves and jeff goldblum but he’s like a new born baby immortal who is looking at the long long expanse of a lifetime he has in front of him and is already tired

jeff golblum is thousands of years old and loving it. john mulaney was born in 1901 and ever since 1924 it’s gone downhill for him

So to be clear, the immortal timeline seems to be:

John Mulaney – early 20th century

Eric Andre – Probably 17th century or so.

Taika Waititi – Elizabethan age, probably hung out with Shakespeare

Keanu Reeves – We think sometime around Alexander the Great, but he seems to have just sprung up fully formed.

Jeff Goldblum – 100% Biblical times, may or may not be King Solomon.

Tommy Wiseau – Indeterminate, may be the first Homo Sapiens.

I have been informed of a few additional immortals in my studies.

Oscar Isaac – Renaissance era, good friend of Da Vinci and Michaelangelo. We have no proof that he was not the model for David but I suspect.

Dwayne Johnson – Ancient World, helped to build many of the Seven Wonders with his prodigious strength. Had a reputation as a ruthless and fearsome warrior, but wasn’t really into it, so he played dead after this kid hit him with a slingshot and went off to follow his passion for the arts.

nemesisvariant:

Every time I see a writing prompt for an immortal I always see some smartass say “Jeff Goldblum lmao” and guess what? Make up your own character to fit the prompt. Write a short story. Write a book. Become insanely popular. Get your book made into a movie. Be the director. Hire Jeff Goldblum to play your character. Spend time with Jeff Goldblum. Try to pay him for his immortality secrets. Fail. Spend more time with Jeff Goldblum. Become friends. Become best friends. Be a better person. Wait for Jeff Goldblum to realize you’ve become a better person. Wait for Jeff Goldblum to fall in love with you. Get the secret of immortality from Jeff Goldblum. Live forever with Jeff Goldblum. Escape Earth with Jeff Goldblum. Live amongst the stars with Jeff Goldblum. Adopt space cats. Don’t just write “Jeff Goldblum lmao”. Live the Jeff Goldblum experience, you coward.