Our Leonard who art in sickbay Hallow’d be thy Eyebrow Thy nurses run Thy physicals be done On Earth as they are in this flying tin can Give us this day our daily hypospray And forgive us our away missions As we forgive those who pull phasers against us Lead us not into the transporter But deliver us from Andorian shingles For thine is the biobed, the quarantine and the Captain Now and until the hull cracks and our blood boils in thirteen seconds DAMMIT JIM.
Did you just call the Enterprise a flying tin can?
James Tiberius “sunk all his points into improvised weaponry and bluff” Kirk, space bard.
Commander “charisma is a dump stat” Spock, space wizard
Lieutenant “wait, can we use supplemental materials for this?” Sulu, space duelist
Lieutenant Nyota“lockpick and detect trap are literally always useful skills guys come on” Uhura, space theif
Lieutenant Commander Montgomery “definitely going to blow the party up with that flask of Greek fire” Scott, space alchemist.
Ensign Pavel “Does not know how to tank” Chekov, Barbarian
And finally, to round out the party, Leonard “I can’t believe not a single one of you motherfuckers took a single rank in healing, I should pick rogue just to spite you,” McCoy, space cleric.