So it’s Flu Season again, and this recipe for Tea To Fix What Ails You was given to me by a Christian friend, and I’ve taken to calling it JESUS TEA due to it’s miraculous properties. Even though it, technically, contains no tea. This tea is as caffinie-free as anything processed in a US plant can get, but be sure to check the provenance and all ingredients in case of allergies.
You will Need:
A Bigass Pot, becuase this is something you make in large quantities
working stovetop
those lil cloth sachets you use for wassail/empty teabags/those lil reuseable loose-leaf tea steepers.
Recipe:
about a quart of water
1 cup apple cider
about half a lemon’s worth of juice
a shitwhack of honey- try to get as local as possible and generally the less-processed the better if you want to build a resistance to local allergens. If you have allergy concerns or don’t like the taste of honey, go ahead and use more processed stuff/another sweetener instead.
three tablespoons/three bags chamomile tea
three tablespoons/three bags rooibos tea
teaspoon crushed cloves
1 cinnamon stick (more if you like it spicier)
¼ tsp nutmeg
1/8 tsp cayenne or white pepper
Bring water to a simmer in the pot. Add the chamomile, rooibos and spices to steep about 4-5 minutes or longer if you like tea-flavored tar which given you have the flu you probably do. Add Cider, Lemon Juice and Honey until dissolved. Drink all of this in the course of an hour to stay hydrated, make more pots as needed or until you pass out.
FOR MAXIMUM EFFECTIVENESS: gargle warm salt water first for as long as you can, it’ll break up the mucus in your throat and soothe the soreness.
This stuff is hecking delicious, and my dad claims it cured his cold. I’ve taken to drinking it just because it tastes good! Thank you for sharing! 😀 I also found that you can freeze this stuff in convenient single serving sizes, ready to be heated in the microwave when you don’t have enough spoons to make it fresh. Granted fresh is usually best for most food and drinks, but it’s still good.
I also calculated a single serving version, which I’m putting here in case anyone wants to make it that way:
1 cup hot water
¼ cup apple cider (or more, I prefer 1/3 cup)
1 tbsp honey (or more, to taste)
a dash of lemon juice
½ tsp spice mixture
1 ½ tbsp tea mixture
Mix the spices together in one container, and mix the two kinds of tea together in another. Measure out of these the above amounts. (Don’t try to store the two things together, the spices will sink to the bottom and you won’t get the right measurements.)
Use a tea infuser/tea bag/cheesecloth/whatever to keep the herb bits from floating off into your drink. Steep for the usual 4-5 minutes, then add the cider, honey, and lemon.
Side note: ground cloves is cheaper for me so I use ½ tsp of
that instead of 1 of whole. I also like cinnamon a lot so I use ¼ tsp
ground cinnamon instead of a stick (also sticks are really expensive here). If you use a stick, break it into
little pieces. The downside of ground cinnamon is that it
kind of congeals if you don’t stir it periodically, so keep a spoon
handy as you drink.
Since people have been asking for this (I guess the flu/common cold is going around agian), have it again, NOW WITH SINGLE SERVING SIZE, THANK YOU @snowfox102 for doing the math for me!
Is it possible to substitute the chamomile for something else?
Pretty much any herbal tea but mint will work? Rose hip’s good, or you can just double the rooibos. You can even put in black or green tea. I don’t becuase those both have caffiene and I want to be awake as little as possible when I’m sick.
What the absolute fuck is a shitwack of honey?
Once tea tarts cooling down* start adding honey. Keep adding honey. Your significant other or parents will notice and ask “Isn’t that enough honey?” “No.” You rasp, throat raw. “I need the magic bug juice too heal me.” “I think we should check your fever again.” they say. “When I’m fucking done.” You rasp, sounding like gollum with a four-packs-a-day habit. Eventually, there will be enough.
that, is a “Shitwhack”
*boiling honey gets rid of 90% of it’s goodness, so let the tea cool down to drinking temp before adding honey.
Just here to remind you to get your flu shot. And tea is not a substitution for antivirals if you do get the flu.
You are completely right! Jesus Tea will only help soothe your suffering, not prevent infection. Also Influenza is hella dangerous and DOES kill people, so get vaccinated for your safety and the safety of your immunocompromised friends!
The menthol in mint tastes REALLY weird with the other ingredients, that’s all. Like drinking OJ after brushing your teeth.
Some other repeat questions:
-If you don’t hvae acess to Cider, regular Apple Juice works just fine, just check the nutritional information to make sure it’s the 100% DV vitamin C stuff, we want you you feel better ASAP. If you like OJ, that can work too.
-Honey is in here specifically for it’s antibacterial and allergy-reliveing properties, and fruit-based honey substitutes will NOT give you the same benefits.
-If you can’t do honey for whatever reason, sub in your favorite non-sugar sweetener because Sugar/fructose/sucrose/agave will mess with the ability fo your throat cells to retain/release water and make your throat feel WAAAAAAY worse. Aspartame, Saccharin and Stevia won’t aggravate you throat much.
-If you can’t have chamomile, pretty much any Herbal Tea or Tisane will work, as will green tea. The exception is anything that contains St. John’s Wort, which interacts dangerously with pseudoephedrine andacetaminophen, whic are in basically every cold medication available without a perscription in the US.
-If you don’t want roobois, any dark and spicy kind of tea will work- rose hip, most black teas, etc.
-I tend to reccomend against anythign that has caffine becuase being concious with the flu is awful and you need to sleep as much as possible.
-If you don’t like any of the spices, feel free to sub them for something else! The point of those is to add a bit of heat/pepperiness to the tea to help unclog sinuses. If you’re a heat fiend like some of my friends, you can put sriracha in there if you want.
-THE SALT RINSE BEFOREHAND IS KEY. gargling with lukewarm saltwater or using a saline rinse will flush out congestion and help the Jesus Tea work it’s magic more effectively.
To Reiterate: Jesus Tea will only make you feel slightly less miserable and it not a substitute for medical care. Get vaccinated early and often, and if you develop a high fever or other medically worrisome symptoms, get to a healthcare professional ASAP.
I’m rebloging this solely for the measurements. A shitwhack of honey
It’s that time of Year again! Reblogging this long version with additonal NoteS:
Where I come from in the US, “Apple Cider” referes to the cloudy brown JUICE you can get in the fall, and is most reccomended because it tends to have the most Vitamin C and Trace minerals. Don’t drink alcohol while you are sick- your liver is already working overtime and alcohol can interact dangerously with cold meds.
GET VACCINATED ASAP!!! PROTECT YOURSELF AND YOUR FRIENDS!!!
If you are sick for more than 7 days or develop a fever over 100 degrees, please see a doctor immediately. Influenza is still a very dangerous virus.
Ever gotten stung by a bee? Bitten by a spider that had some pain juice in its bitey parts? Brushed against some stinging nettle? Had a mosquito suck your lifejuice from your body and leave a present behind?
This is your time. Yes, indeed. In this post, I shall empower you to pick a leaf off the ground…. and chew it up. And spit it back out. Onto yourself.
[Disclaimer: if you get bitten by something real bad, do not pick a leaf off the ground. Pick up a phone. Call an ambulance. Go to the doctor.]
Have you ever seen
THIS WEED?
It grows in many places. It is your friend. It wants to help you. Sometimes it is big, sometimes it is small. It is called
Broadleaf Plantain
Broadleaf Plantain is edible, click the link if you don’t believe me, do your own research, it is 100% non toxic. Although it tastes real bad. Don’t eat it, unless you want to, I guess.
Grows all over. Which is good. Now getting to the spitting-on-yourself part.
Broadleaf Plantain
has healing properties! According to Wikipedia which is not a reliable source according to all my teachers, the active chemical constituents are aucubin (an anti-microbial agent), allantoin (which stimulates cellular growth and tissue regeneration), and mucilage (which reduces pain and discomfort).
I just plagiarized. Sorry Mr. Stearns.
Okay so on the not-wikipedia front, this has helped me with
a spider bite
a bee sting
a burn
blisters
stinging nettle
mosquito bites
The bee sting was today, on the bottom of my foot, and I used it and bam was walking (with only a tad bit of discomfort) within 10 minutes. 5-10 but I don’t want false advertisement
Mosquito bites? I was hanging with some family in the mountains and the mosquitoes were EVERYWHERE and everyone was getting bitten. And I was like, I know a plant
But! I wasn’t sure if it grew around there. So I looked, made no promises, found a bunch of scrawny lil buggers growing in the gravel. “you don’t need your leaves,” I said, and stole them.
Okay so. So. spitting on yourself. Let’s get there. Do you know what a poultice is? No? Okay here’s what:
it’s mushed up plants that serves a purpose. The purpose of plantain, as I said earlier, is to stop those damn bug bites from being so itchy and/or painful.
There are two ways to make a poultice: get get leaf, put on rock, add a bit of water, and mash into tiny tiny mush, or the more convenient version:
CHEW IT UP! STICK THAT MOFO IN YOUR MOUTH AND CHEW! YOU NEED NO WATER, YOU HAVE SALIVA! YOU NEED NO ROCKS, YOU HAVE MOLARS!
Then once it’s nice and ground up get that plant out of your mouth and slap it on the bug bite. It should be pretty moist (the juices are what help so much) but not so much that it’s going to drip off you. It should kinda stick. Use another leaf, or tape or something to keep it there if need be.
Does it look kinda like this? Great! Ya done did it!
With those mosquito bites I mentioned, it reduced swelling the size of a quarter in about 20 minutes! The guests loved it! You get real popular because you saved them from pain! I used the “styrofoam plate, knife, add water, try your best” method for them because saliva was a big no no and everyone wanted it real hygienic. Don’t fool yourself. Saliva itself has slight antimicrobial properties so it’s for the best, anyway.
Haven’t seen that plant? Well have you seen
Narrowleaf Plantain?
Narrowleaf Plantain has the same properties and it looks like this:
Young man, there’s no need to feel down
I said young man, chew a leaf off the ground
The next time you get bitten by one of mother nature’s beautiful creatures, I hope you feel empowered to pick a leaf off the ground and spit it back onto yourself.
This has been a public service announcement
I have been taught since I was small that dock leaves were for nettles, I wonder if that was a miscommunication?
OBGYN: Yeah, you are exhibiting all the signs of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. I’m so sorry.
Me: Huh? Oh, yeah. Insulin resistance, impossible weight loss, pre-disposition to type II diabetes, painful AF periods. Likelihood of bleed outs. Crap. That blows.
OBGYN: Yeah, well that too.
Me: *blinks* What?
OBGYN: Well, PCOS makes it very difficult for a woman to conceive and carry.
Me: BWHAHAHAHA. Yeah. No. No babies. Ever. Never wanted them. At all. Maternal instinct is not strong with this one. Only upside today.
OBGYN: Well then. Not exactly problem solved, but we’ll run with it.
Me: So about the MIND-SEARING PAIN and occasional HEAVY AF BLEEDING. When can we deal with that.
OBGYN: Not until you are 35.
Me: Dah fuq?
OBGYN: Not my rules. Hospitalization won’t even consider any treatment unless it’s life or death until you’re 35.
Me: Why?
OBGYN: Because you might want to have a baby.
Me: I’m 31. I didn’t want kids when I was 11, I didn’t want them at 21, and I sure as shit don’t want them now. Can’t I just sign a form that says “I don’t ever want a baby take it out, take it out now”?
OBGYN: Nope.
Me: Why?
OBGYN: Government rules. No removal of baby making parts before 35 unless your life is in immediate jeopardy.
TL;DR: The government knows better about your baby making parts than you do.
This is just evil. They are literally refusing to treat a potentially life-threatening condition, not just without the patient’s consent but despite the patient’s protest. Evil.
According to the National Women’s Health Network, there’s no legal age restriction- “Technically, any woman of legal age can consent to the procedure, but it should be medically justified. It’s incredibly unlikely that a doctor will perform a hysterectomy on women ages 18-35 unless it is absolutely necessary for their well-being and no other options will suffice.” Of course, this is in the US. Other countries may have different rules.
If you’re in the US and your OBGYN says “government says no,” look for a new one because they lied to you. If your OBGYN says that “hospital says no,” look for a new one because this one doesn’t respect your bodily autonomy. It is true that most surgeons don’t like to perform hysterectomies until you’re in your late 30s at the earliest, but a respectful surgeon will listen to their patient and not just write them off. Sexism in hospitals is alive and well– and it’s not just anecdotal evidence. There’s been a history of looking at it academically/professionally since the 70s (look into Mary Halas as a good place to start if you’re curious), and it crops up all the time in articles in the Journal of Women’s Health and Women’s Health Issues, and the International Journal of Women’s Health all of which are peer-reviewed, well-respected medical journals. It’s absolutely a real thing.
Anyways, I guess what I’m getting at is this: here’s a list of doctors (mostly US-centric) who perform different sterilization surgeries without giving their patients trouble. While even a surgeon on this list might caution anyone under 35 away from a hysterectomy, at the end of the day it’s yourbody and your pain. (And some of the docs here have been known to perform hysterectomies on people in their 20s with no fuss.) While this list won’t be practical for everyone- after all, medical treatment is ridiculously expensive in this country, it might help someone.
Holy shit fam Holy S H I T
SIGN ME THE FUCK UP I’VE BEEN TOLD THIS IS NOT ALLOWED FOR YEARS
Oh god
QUICK REMINDER THAT I HAD A HYSTERECTOMY A FEW DAYS AFTER MY 26TH BIRTHDAY B/C I HAD CANCER AND I DID EXACTLY THIS. I HAD A DOCTOR WHO DIDN’T WANT TO DO IT AND THEN I WENT TO A NEW DOCTOR AND AFTERWARDS SHE MORE OR LESS SAID MY LIFE WOULD HAVE BEEN IN DANGER HAD I NOT DONE IT.
Sometimes it’s not the doctor, it’s the hospital. For example, my OBGYN worked at a Catholic hospital, so they couldn’t perform any type of sterilization onsite unless it was an emergency situation.
So if your doc feeds you this BS line about not being allowed to, ASK IF IT’S THE HOSPITAL POLICY. If it is, ask if they are able to perform the procedure elsewhere. If they are not, ASK FOR A REFERRAL.
I was 28 years old when my OBGYN explained that he wasn’t allowed to perform a sterilization procedure onsite, and then he proceeded to tell me what a crock of shit it was and referred me to someone else who was able to. And even though I was under 30, his referral listed me as “an ideal candidate” for the procedure.
If they pass off this line and insist when you know otherwise, FIND A NEW DOCTOR.
It’s wild to me, the people who are willing to stan things like big pharma and health insurance companies in the US like somehow the cost of things isn’t arbitrary and absolutely made for profit.
Just saw a comment that said “I don’t think people realize how expensive health care actually is, it’s not like pill companies are out to make a profit” like, I’m sorry, my migraine meds which I can get for free or for a significantly lower cost in nearly every other country in the world, would cost me $120 per month in the US if I chose to fill the prescription. And yes, that’s generic. And yes, that’s with health insurance. My health insurance doesn’t cover them.
My epi pens, a literal life saving rescue med, if I can’t get a generic non auto-injector or if I don’t have a coupon, can cost me $600 per pen. And you’re supposed to carry two and replace them yearly.
For that price I can literally fly home to the UK for two weeks and have them replaced for free (I’m a UK citizen before anyone gets their knickers in a bunch about freeloading scroungers), and still have an extra $100-400 to play with depending on the time of year I fly out.
I literally plan trips home based around when my meds need refilled, because it’s works out cheaper than trying to get a pharmacy in the US that takes my insurance and provides generic non automated adrenaline pens.
That’s fucked up.
And it is absolutely because health insurance companies and “big pharma” are in cahoots over how much profit they want to make from tragic events and debilitating illnesses. Meanwhile people die cause it’s a choice between food for their kids or insulin for their diabetes.
But go off I guess.
Another thing that ticks me off is people who go “oh just get new insurance if yours is too expensive” like I didn’t already think of that, and am also not restricted with who will cover me because I’m an immigrant.
Cause oh yeah, that’s a thing.
Anyone that says “well immigrants come here to get free healthcare” are absolutely talking out of their asses.
“Oh but we meant the illegals…” except you cannot get Medicaid or state equivalent without an official alien green card number??? So that’s false???
“But I heard…” well ya heard wrong.
Free health care is such a weird phenomenon to me.
We have state clinics, which are cheaper than private hospitals. You still pay for your treatment though. Medical insurance is ridiculously expensive, and not a “Benefit” with most jobs in my country. You’re lucky if you land that gig.
My husband tore a ligament a year back, we carted him off to the state hospital, he sat in line for 9 hours, had a quick xray to confirm and was sent home with aspirin. That was the extent of the help he got.
I had my wisdom teeth removed in a private hospital. I’m deathly allergic to tramal, which is the painkiller they inject you with after you come out of surgery. Noted on my chart and medical alert bracelet. I felt confident that the doctors wouldn’t inject me with the thing that could kill me.
I guessed wrong.
If I hadn’t asked the doctor what he was injecting me with ( still high on anaesthetic, fyi) he would have killed me. Do you know what he said to me when I told him I was allergic? “HOW allergic?” 😐.
Pharma companies, healthcare in general? No one cares. Pay, don’t pay. You’re going to suffer regardless. All that matters is how much money they can make off of you.
‘Free’ healthcare isnt all its made out to be. The british NHS will do everything they can to blame YOU for anything that is wrong or that you need treatment for. If your BMI is over the optimim 18 to 25 points you’re screwed. Flu? Too fat. Broken Ankle? Too fat. Polycystic Ovaries? Too fat. Asthma? Too fat. Everything you would not have if you lost weight. Oh you have despression and are self harming? Well if you lost weight… do you see where this is going?
Also prescriptions; in Scotland and Wales prescriptions are free. But in England unless you have a medical exemption card you’re paying. I have asthma and regularly have to replace my inhalers for various reason; lose them, break them, they run out. I earn less than £7k a year so i earn less than someone who claims benefits. The one exception is if they are what are classed as ‘life saving drugs’ you dont have to pay.
Doc: If you dont carry your inhaler and have an attack you’re screwed and could die.
Me: Oh ok. So can i get a medical exemption card? These things are getting expensive.
Doc: Nope
Me: But you said if i dont have my inhaler i could die from an asthma attack.
Doc: Exemption cards are only for Life Saving Drugs.
Me: But you just said i have to carry my inhaler or else i could die. It could literally save my life.
Doc: Nope. Inhalers arent considered life saving drugs.
Me: but…
Oh and lets get onto mental health care. I was diagnosed with post natal depression after i lost my first child. That then turned into the fairly rarely diagnosed pre-natal depression when i was pregnant with Superpup.
After he was born the trauma of his birth and the isolation that came with being a new mother tipped me back into severe post natal depression again. I found the strength to seek help and my GP referred me to a state shrink…
I walk into his office and before i’ve even sat down he comments that he wished new mums didnt bring their babies with them. Then he told me (not asked) to tell him the history, asked some very emotionally painful questions before telling me to ‘snap out of it before you get committed’.
He then suggested i would feel better if i lost weight and was happy to write me a prescription for amphetamines that would make me very active and happy.
I told him to fuck off and stormed out.
So no, free healthcare isnt all its cracked up to be.
Oh friend. I got news for you. Private for cost care doesn’t remove any of that shit.
It just means I’m getting charged $500 per 20 minute appointment to be told it’s my fault.
That isn’t a money or cost issue, it’s a systemic ussue of the sexism, the racism and ableism that is permitted to run riot in the medical world, regardless of cost.
So, to sum up, healthcare is fucked everywhere.
Fucked but not unfixable. Likely not to any benefit of my lifetime, but we don’t always get to see the forests we burn down to regrow.
*Nods*
I’m in the US. I have what’s considered “good” health insurance (I’m lucky, my husband has a state union job). This does not do much to cover mental health services though. I mean, technically it’s covered but most therapists won’t take it because it pays them so little.
But moreover, it has protected me from shitty healthcare on the medical side. I’ve got what turns out to be a mixture of panic disorder and something called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome aka POTS (basically my heart rate goes way up from standing-it is SUPER easy to check for).
The first doctor barely checked me over and was like, “You have chest wall pains, go on this steroid.”
Friends, do you know what you really shouldn’t give someone with an overly fast heart rate and panic attacks? If you guessed steroid, you know who ended up in ER two days later, baffling doctors with her freakish racing heart, shortness of breath, and chest pain.
The drama goes on for quite a while after this, and includes a lot of doctors brushing me off and one yelling at me because I stopped taking antidpressents because they gave me suicidal thoughts.
My take on the problem (at least in the US, having never received medical care in another country)?
1. Medicine is for profit now, not for people.
2. Doctors have no training on dealing with people.
3. Doctors are only allowed a few minutes per patient.
Also, as a medical professional, I would like to add on to the “HOW allergic are you?” question, because if you only experience minor swelling or irritation, they can usually toss in an antihistamine and let the drug do its job. If it’s worse, then they abso-fucking-lutely need to step up their game (and naturally, allergy profiles don’t have that kind of nuance to them in computer systems, so we gotta ask every time). I’ve had to verify with doctors and patients concerning various penicillin and opoid allergies and not all of them were fatal reactions.
Allergic reactions can vary from minor redness and swelling to anaphylaxis, and please keep in mind that even if our allergy profile for you is updated, there is no way for us to keep track of the severity. Some of us go to one extreme and avoid it completely, others will be asking how allergic you are. And since our hours are constantly being cut, we don’t have the staff or the time to help everyone the way we want to help them, the way they need to be helped.
DarkestElemental616 