I once said to my therapist after a particularly hard week, “I wish I could just fix all of my problems and move on to live a normal life”
And he looked at me and said, “There is no finish line”.Those words felt like a stab in my heart, but they were words that I desperately needed to hear. There is no finish line to my problems. It’s not possible to get through a certain point in life and have my problems simply disappear. And it’s unhealthy to think that way. Up to that point in my life, that’s what I though recovery was. I thought it was like working your way forward until it seems like your problems never existed in the first place.
The finish line does not exist. Instead, everyone has a capacity for recovery. You may never completely rid yourself of whatever causes you pain, but you will move miles from where you started. Don’t set your expectations too high and create that theoretical finish line in your life, or you will only end up chasing it. Instead, focus on your own capacity for recovery, and be proud of yourself for every step you take.
Just saw Eighth Grade and reblogging the heck out of this bc wow it gets so much better if you just take it one step at a time
Okay but I cant help but hear “there is no finish line” and immediately respond with “then why am i running the race?” What is the point*? Where is the benefit of putting in the effort if its not going to ever end? If i am always going to battle I would rather just give up the fight.
*(Im not saying recovery is bad or whatever ppl wanna reach for, this is my personal view)
That’s the thing, though: it’s not a race. It’s a garden.
No matter what your garden looks like in the beginning, you have to weed it before it can grow into what you want it to be. And when your flowers are planted and growing, you still have to keep up with the weeding. You have to keep up with the weeding even after your flowers are tall. A garden can’t survive on its own. There will always be weeds.
But there will be flowers, too, if you give them space to grow. Give them room, give them time, and keep checking in to make sure the weeds don’t get too tall. You will always have weeds, but you will also have flowers.
And maybe your garden doesn’t look exactly like you imagined it would. Maybe you aren’t sure how to get rid of that one big thistle in the corner. Maybe you’ve got bindweed and nutgrass (which will always, always come back). Either way, you’ve got flowers now, and it’s a nice place to sit and look around, and it looks nicer than it did before, and it’s yours. Keep going with it. If you miss a few days, or months, or years, that’s okay. Pull up the weeds when you’re ready, uncover your old flowers and plant some new ones, and keep going.
Gardening is a process, not a project or a problem that can be solved. The same is true for your mental health. Weeds will grow, but you’ll get better and better at pulling them, and you’ll grow flowers, too.
Tag: mental health
A psychiatrist specialized in gamers
This is supposed to be humorous, but if it works to keep him alive, then it works.
Sometimes preventing suicide simply means reminding people that there are things worth living for and that is anything that makes you happy.
Halo 3 was really important for me in this way. I had to finish the fight.
Half-Life 3?
grants you immortality
Having shit to look forward to is absolutely the way people stay alive.
All people.
Like, it’s scientifically proven.
Having concrete anticipations also gives you a solid reference point against which you can check your mental health status.
The way I knew I had slipped from morbid ideation to suicide risk was when I realized that the release date of kingdom hearts 3 wasn’t enough to make me leave a bottle of hydrocodone alone. The moment of recognition that something I had been dreaming of for 14 years wasn’t enough motivation to make it through the night was how I knew I needed an intervention.
Video games just happen to have concerts dates and strong reactions from people. They’re an excellent and accessible tool.
stop insulting yourself. it doesn’t help.
But what if it’s true
it still doesn’t help. you can call yourself as many names as you want, but it won’t make you a better, happier, healthier or kinder person.
punishment doesn’t work. only positive reinforcement does. be kind to yourself and get better.
#but like#what should i do instead??#i know i shouldnt insult myself but also theres nothing to compliment imho#thats my predicament
try speaking neutrally about yourself!
“you fucking idi- it’s not that big a mistake.”
“you’re worthle- it’s okay.”
“you’ll never amount to- well, i’m doing alright, i guess.”
ever heard the phrase “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”? that applies not to just to others but to yourself as well. it’s better to think neutrally or not at all than negatively. and once you’ve got into the habit of that, it’s much easier to move to uplifting yourself!
this is EXTREMELY hard to do when you hate yourself.
Cause it’s like, there’s these two separate people in my head and one of then hates the other SOMUCH that given the chance, it would kill the other, literally murder it
but it can’t
so it just HAS to say as many bad things as it can cause it’s the only outlet
I see where you’re coming from, but it is extremely hard.
Of course it’s hard.
If it was easy we wouldn’t need to do it.
If it was easy we wouldn’t be giving people tips on how to do it.
If it was easy we wouldn’t be struggling with the monsters in our minds, day in and day out.
Why wouldn’t it be hard?
That’s WHY we have to try. That’s WHY we have to keep fighting. That’s WHY you keep pushing and working with it. Because if you do, it gets a little easier. If you do, you path the way for your future self, if you do, you start to see why we have to do it.
Of course it’s hard.
Do you know how long I’ve hated myself? Do you know how hard it was to start doing this? Do you know how hard it was to put down the knife and the pills and pick up the phone, pick up my soul, three separate times in six years? Do you know how many more times I had to lock myself away to try and fight off the demons and the monsters?
Of course it’s fucking hard. But that’s not a reason to give up. That’s the reason to keep fighting.
If it wasn’t hard, we wouldn’t be ill.
If it wasn’t hard, we wouldn’t be tired.
If it wasn’t hard, we’d all do it.
But hard isn’t an excuse. It isn’t a reason.
It’s why we have to try.
I hated myself for twenty fucking years. I am finally starting to like myself. I’m finally starting to be able to pick up myself and go “no, this isn’t a big deal, I can keep going.”
So of course I see where you’re coming from – you’re coming from where I was, two years ago, three years ago, four years ago, five, six, seven, eight years ago.
And that’s why I reblogged this. That’s why I believe in this. Because honestly? No matter how much that little voice says “you’re worthless”, you can keep saying “i’m all right, i guess.” and eventually, that starts to work. And it can take months, it can take years, but fucking hell it works. Because you find these teeny tiny reasons to live, to find worth, to enjoy yourself.
You find reasons to breathe and reasons to get the rest of the help you need.
Of course it’s hard.
If it was easy, it wouldn’t be calling “battling mental illness”, after all.
Like most people don’t like to admit this, but one of the reasons a lot of us have so many mental health issues is because we live in a world that has basically become untenable. People can’t afford basic necessities, let alone to cultivate their interests or take breaks and rest or do any of the things necessary for good mental health. People my age are wracked with debt, working at jobs they hate or studying topics they hate, living in a shitty apartment with five roommates. We live in a world that’s very hard to be healthy in. So while yeah, a lot of people obviously do have mental illnesses that would need medication no matter what, they are greatly exacerbated by these issues, and a lot of people have basically just been thrust into an eternal situational depression. So if that doesn’t change, medication is just a band-aid.
DarkestElemental616 