Tag: message from the queue continuum

trainthief:

trainthief:

shoutout to the horny motherfuckers at spotify for this one 

they were like “hey guys we need an artist photo for famous composer and conductor leonard bernstein (1918-1990). there’s tons of professional photos of him especially in his later years so lets just-” and then Gay Dave from accounting who already had “leonard bernstein shirtless” open in three different tabs was like “actually i’ve got one already, don’t worry” 

lesbigone:

dafterwho:

thor-appreciation-blog:

thor-appreciation-blog:

thor-appreciation-blog:

Broke: Thor doesn’t understand memes

Woke: No one understands Thor’s antique, spicy asgardian memes

This of course brings up the question of what exactly asgardian memes would be, any ideas lads?

Imma just go ahead and say the tragedy of Loki of asgard is a huge meme at this point

heimdall watches you fap

  • [pointing at any group of 3 anythings] the warriors three
    • along the same lines pointing at any green animal “loki??”
  • if you’re straight you can’t cross the bifrost
  • if an uncomfortable conversation occurs you suddenly have to go home and [yourname]sleep for a hundred years
  • loki’s terrible overcomplicated plans
  • heimdall commits treason every single day and nobody has ever even thought of trying to stop him
  • odin’s vault is full of things that should not be kept together/anything lost (e. g. “where’s my other sock??” “odins vault probably”)
  • gET HELP MY BROTHER HE’S DYING (loki flies through the air)
    • probably the asgardian version of yeet tbh

boopifer:

eevee-nicks:

biglawbear:

eevee-nicks:

biglawbear:

This is so real, honestly I’m just trying to make it to play Kingdom Hearts III

Years ago when my PTSD/depression was really bad I always made sure I had some kind of cookie dough or cookie dough mix in the house. And then if it escalated and I got the impulse to kill myself, I’d start baking cookies instead. And then I couldn’t do it because the cookies were baking. And once the whole process of preparing the dough, preheating the oven, baking the cookies, and letting them cool was over usually at least half and hour had passed and my meds had kicked in and I’d be like “well I guess I have to live now because I have freshly baked delicious cookies.” And then I’d just snack on suicide cookies a little bit at a time for the rest of the week and weirdly enough it helped.

This is brilliant. I need to do this. I love baking so much. It’s one of my favorite hobbies. I should make a fuckton of cookie dough and freeze it. I also need a recipe for perfect freezable “suicide cookies” because that’s just the perfect dark millennial humor that tickles me.

I’m glad you like this idea because I always want to tell people about the concept of “suicide cookies” (or really any kind of physical self harm cookies) but not everyone has my fucked up sense of humor and I worry about offending people by accident.

College me was like this with cupcakes. I’d bake cupcakes. All the cupcakes. I’d have so many cupcakes I’d be giving them away, and it was always lovely to see how happy people were when I have them cupcakes, because something nice came out of some of my darkest moments. 

kaylapocalypse:

wunkolo:

I had a dream I was able to time travel and I went like 10,20,100,1000,2000 years into the future but the instant I went to 4,000 I got stuck in a time dilation jail set up by the American government in the year 3,877 in which anyone that tried to time travel back or forth across May 23, 3877 while on Earth would end up stuck in this time dilation chamber trap to stop time travelers but like it was so crazy and mismanaged because it was legit capturing like every single time traveler ever and the place had only been open for 12 minutes and was already getting overpopulated with nonstop multiple recursive instances of this one other guy trying to break previous versions of himself out of this god damn time traveler jail

that is fucking hysterical and absolutely sounds like something the American Government would set up. 

@merindab this sounds like something Jack and/or the Doctor would run into tbh

tyrannosaurus-trainwreck:

thedrunkencenobite:

Commissioner Gordon: If I shine this light into the sky, a man dressed like Dracula shows up.

Internal Affairs Investigator: I’m not sure how that’s a good use of tax doll-

Commissioner Gordon: He brings us lots of inadmissible evidence.

Are you fucking kidding me?  You know how this would actually go?

Commissioner Gordon: *slaps roof* You know how much overtime I don’t have to pay on account of this bad boy?

Internal Affairs Investigator: Yeah, but still–

Commissioner Gordon: I just turn it on, and instead of paying a whole precinct time-and-a-half to never see their families, a guy dressed as a bat punches whoever we’re looking for a bunch of times and dumps them in the parking lot.

Internal Affairs Investigator:

That’s not–

Commissioner Gordon:

Sometimes I fire it up just to see who we get.  It’s like having a cat that brings you guys with twenty warrants out for their arrest instead of dead birds.

Internal Affairs Investigator:

Okay, but you can’t tell people that.  Like, we can’t say it out loud.

Commissioner Gordon:

So I shouldn’t have told the FBI they could borrow it if they ever feel like clearing their most-wanted list?