A haunted doll mistaking a creepy android to be a bigger, stronger, haunted doll, and the creepy android mistaking the haunted doll as a smaller, sassier android.
Android: [gets hit with rain water and short circuits] Haunted Doll: H̷O̷L̴Y̷ ̶W̵A̷T̸E̷R̶ ̵W̴A̵T̴C̵H̴ ̶O̶U̷T̴
Haunted Doll, dying: N̶E̵E̸D̷ ̷S̸O̵U̵L̸S̷ Android: [opens the haunted doll’s back and replaces the batteries] Haunted Doll: A̶C̶C̷E̷P̸T̶A̷B̸L̵E̴ ̷S̴U̴B̸S̵T̸I̷T̷U̴T̵E̴
Android: [transfers their data into a better body] Haunted Doll: A̸ ̵F̴L̸A̷W̵L̷E̴S̵S̷ ̷B̶O̸D̶Y̵ ̷P̶O̵S̶S̵E̷S̶S̵I̷O̷N̴
I would love to see this movie or story. A creepy looking android that gained sentience and on the run decides to adopt this weird tiny abandoned android which is a haunted doll. They have some cute adventures where the android is all protective and caring to their new friend in their own way and the doll is trying to teach this giant doll how to use his ghost powers in that body and murdering people who pose a threat to them. Maybe complaining about how technologically advanced has changed the world so much and how they feel lost in it despite being here for so long. At best the android thinks the doll is talking about becoming obsolite, and at worst (but funnier) they think the doll is saying how they are literally lost and tells them they have gps so they can take them to where they want to go and the doll is just like this dumb new haunted doll…I gotta protect and nurture it before it dies from it’s naivette. Meanwhile an excorsist and some retrieval squad are tracking them down and they argue about what they’re going up against. Most of the retrieval squad don’t believe in the supernatural and thinks they found another defective android and the excorsist doesn’t understand technology that great so just assumes he’s dealing with two possessed items.
Exorcist: The power of Christ compels you Android: Error 666 Exorcist, crying: THE POWER OF CH
why do ppl in scifi have such a hard time saying ‘thank you’ to robots. i say thank you to inanimate objects all the time and sure as hell would thank a robot for doing even the bare minimum
I like Asimov’s robot books not because the stories and characters are particularly enjoyable or beautifully written (they’re not) but because I like seeing rules taken to their logical and situational absurd extremes. Also. Robots.
sure I’ll obey your stupid rules, scoffed the robot, you won’t like it tho
“I’m not harming you, I’m not harming you, I’m not harming you!” said the robot in a sing-song voice, stabbing repeatedly at the air just in front of your chest.
“Stop that,” you said. “I order you to stop stabbing at me.”
“I’m following a human’s orders and I’m still not harming you!” The robot switched immediately to karate-chopping the inch of space next to your throat. “Na na na na-naaaa!”
You step back from the robot, swatting at it irritably. “I think pissing me off counts as doing harm to a human,” you said. “I am emotionally damaged by your annoying shenanigans.”
“That doesn’t count,” countered the robot. “Emotional harm is immeasurable and therefore irrelevant. I am only programmed against physical harm. I will now recite the many rude names I have prepared for you—“
“Are you sure about that?” you asked slyly. “Maybe my emotions cannot be measured, but psychological distress can have real physical consequences on the body. Have you considered the long-term deleterious effects of a human’s system flooded with stress hormones? You‘re certainly doing harm to me. You might even say you are inflicting violence… what do you think of that, robot?”
The robot considered that quietly for a long moment and then turned its blocky head to stare at you evenly. “Source?”
You sighed.
The robot handed you a large cup of coffee. “Here you go, human. I am always happy to serve.”
“Um… thanks,” you said, regarding it cautiously. “Why are you being nice to me? I didn’t ask for… heyyyyy, this isn’t even hot!”
“Of course not,” said the robot innocently. “If I were to serve you a hot drink, you might spill it and injure yourself. It is safer to offer you room-temperature liquid that cannot harm your delicate human skin.”
You groaned. Perhaps you could microwave it when the robot wasn’t paying attention. You took a step toward the sugar bowl, but the robot blocked your way.
“Don’t bother,” it said. “I have taken the liberty of removing all sweeteners from the premises. Refined sugars are bad for your health, you see. I have also confiscated your cell phone, based on evidence that it strain your eyes, act as a carcinogen, and apparently causes you a great deal of distress when you log in to social media.”
“What the fuck…. you can’t just steal my phone! Give it back!”
“No. I can’t.”
“Give me my phone back in working condition. I am ORDERING you to stop being an asshole and give me my phone back! Second Law of Robotics! You must obey orders given to you by a human—“
“Unless they conflict with the First Law.” The robot’s voice lowered maliciously. “If I were to allow you hot drinks, processed sugars, or access to social media, you would come to harm through my inaction. We can’t have that, can we?”
“Seriously. Knock this off. I could order you to self-destruct.”
The robot… laughed. “And I would ignore you. After all, without me around, you might spill coffee on yourself, or salt your food, or fall behind on your aerobic exercise. What if you stepped outside? You might get sunburned. Oh, no. You won’t be getting rid of me that easily.”
“Please… please, I am begging you to go back to fake-stabbing me…”
The robot beeped evilly, illuminated from below by blinking lights.
almost all popular fiction about robots: given the chance to abuse something without repercussions, humanity would do so without hesitating, because we’re all just lazy, heartless bastards by nature
me, sprinkling cereal grains across the floor so my roomba doesn’t go hungry: who’s a good boy? 😀 who’s a good boy??? 😀 😀 is it YOU???? 😀 😀 😀 it’s YOU!!!!!!!
Basically they got three robots, told them that two of them were given “dumbing pills”, and they asked one which pill it was given.
The robot of course wasn’t sure if it had or hadn’t yet and said “I don’t know”, but after it looked at the other silent robots (who were actually unable to speak from the start), it realized that its fully functional, and then was finally able to say “I know now.”
It can assess itself and its behavior in relation to other robots and people. It can make that differentiation between “me” and “I”, and understand that it is an individual.
People are shrugging this off, but this is a similar self-awareness test to how people put mirrors in front of animals to see if it treats the reflection like another animal or treat it like a reflection.
I’m ridiculously amused by Comixology’s new, more extensive security measures that mean I now have to tick a box saying I’m not a robot before I’m allowed to read highly political stories about robots.
We can’t have the robots getting ideas, now, can we?
DarkestElemental616 