Humans are from a Death World – They drink acid
The tap on the outer door was hesitant, but Captain Thrajj heard it. “Come,” he said, his deep voice carrying into the anteroom outside his office.
The door slid open, and Megis Mon, the Thrill Deputy Chief Engineer, sidled into the room. “Captain.”
Thrajj was a Bifroni, and knew that he looked intimidating to a small species like the Thrills. He stayed seated behind his desk and tilted his head to one side. “Deputy Engineer, what can I do for you?”
“It’s the Chief,” said Mon, holding xir first set of hands clasped together, nervously. “I confess to be worried about his mental state and general health.”
Thrills were known to be a race of healers and carers, coming from their evolutionary line of hive-based societies. The Chief Medical Officer on the Endeavour was a Thrill. “Why are you worried?”
“His behaviour has been… erratic, the last three shifts. His voice became faint, then disappeared altogether. Chief Medic Doran signed him off for one week, and he has remained in his quarters with his pet feline ever since. His card has not been logged through the commissary, but he has been seen using food dispensers near his quarters at odd hours of the ship’s cycle. I pulled the last three records of his usage.” Mon carefully placed a data chip on the Captain’s desk.
He picked it up and fed it into the reader on the desk. “Liquid foods.”
“We know how much he likes a solid meal, even more so than the other Humans on the ship. No, I am more concerned with the last item on the list.”
“Why is that? It looks like the standard checmical composition for water.”
“He asked for water at boiling point. I checked the chemical makeup of that last additive. It’s an acid.”
Thrajj frowned. “Acid?”
“He’s requested a gallon of boiling acid then went back to his room, and now he’s not answering his comm line!” said Mon, agitated now.
“Mon, calm down,” said Thrajj, lowering his big, horned head. “How many times have you shipped out with Humans?”
“This is my second cruise, Captain.”
“I was a young ensign when the Human Federation first took to the stars and made contact,” said Thrajj. “This is my fifty-second year of having Humans on my ships. Now, I’ll let you in on a secret.” He leaned forward, and a smile formed on his lips. “With the Humans, there is always an explanation. They are a hardy species, they come from a homeworld that will kill you or I, but not only did they survive it, they tamed it. Then they went into space, and they tamed a lot of other worlds as well. And with Humans, there is always a reasonable explanation. Come, we shall go and see what the Chief Medic has to say, and then we shall go and see Chief MacDonald.”
===
“I signed him off for one ship week, that is correct,” said the CMO, another Thrill who went by Doran Dom. “He has a mild viral infection, but one I have had experience in dealing with in the past. it is not transmissible to any of the other crew except other Humans, so it appears as if he has quarantined himself to avoid infecting others.”
“Have you any idea why he would request a gallon of boiling acid?” asked Thrajj.
“As to that, I have no idea,”said Dom. “His mental state when he left here was fine.”
===
“Cap’n”, said the broad voice of Chief MacDonald. “I’d offer to let you in, but I don’t want the crew catching what I have.”
He sounded… hoarser that he normally did, as though his voice hadn’t been used in a few days and he was trying to remember how to use it. The tiny viewscreen on the panel outside his room showed the Chief’s face, as much of it as could be seen behind the flaming red beard.
“That’s fine, Chief, we can talk like this. Your deputy is very worried about you.”
“Ach, I’m fine. Or I will be in another few days. I have the dispenser down the hall and Pancake here to keep me company.” He hoisted the calico cat into the camera’s view. Pancake miaowed.
“Can you explain the boiling acid you requested from the dispenser?” asked Mon, fretfully.
“Boiling acid?” repeated MacDonald, a look of puzzlement on his face.
“Your last three requests from the dspenser were two heplings of a hot liquid meal, and a gallon of boiling acid. We’’d like to know what that’s for,” said Thrajj.
The Chief stared for a second, before bursting out laughing.
“Oh, stars, oh my, that’s…” he broke off, tears of mirth running down his face. “I requested hot water with lemon, so I could add honey to it for my sore throat. It’s an old method of getting fluids and electrolytes into a sick person. Did you think I would do something stupid with it?”
“Thrills have a duty of care to their comrades,” said Mon stiffly.
“Mon, my friend, you could have asked and I would have told you. Look, when you say boiling acid, it makes it sound so much worse than it is. It’s citric acid, from fruits grown on Earth. We take the fruit and slice it up, we add honey from bees, and we pour hot water on top and mix it all up.”
“You weren’t answering your comm!” xe shouted.
“I apologise,” said the Chief gravely. “I was probably asleep. I took a pill last night to help me sleep.”
“How soon will you be back to work?” asked Thrajj.
“If Chief Dom will sign me off, I can be back the day after tomorrow. I feel much better, but I’d rather wait and make sure I’m completely clean before I rejoin the crew.”
“Very well, Chief. Thank you for your time.”
“Thank you, Captain, Deputy.”
“See?” said Thrajj, once the screen had gone dark. “Always a reasonable explanation.”
“Boiling. Acid.”
Thrajj snorted. “This is nothing. Come, we shall have a drink and I will tell you of the time a bunch of Humans taped a knife to a cleaning robot…”
DarkestElemental616 