This is so much funnier in light of the Discovery revelation that Klingons have two penises.
Whoa now. Hold on. I do not remember that particular revelation. Can someone point me to this?
One scene has Lorca tell a Klingon women humans don’t have enough parts for mating with them, and another has a Klingon peeing on a wall and there’s two streams. So Discovery has made Klingons have two of their respective reproductive organs, essentially.
Since this new Trek show is going to follow up with Picard ~20 years after his last onscreen appearance, I have decided that the only thing I want as Picard’s post-TNG canon is a Trek version of “Murder, She Wrote.”
Like, Picard is retired in an idyllic French village, spending his time crocheting and organizing bunco groups, and every time someone new shows up in the town, they end up dead in the vineyard. Naturally Picard has to Poirot it up, and the climax of each episode happens in his living room, with everyone sitting in his doily-covered armchairs so he can monologue about who the murderer is.
I’ve been rewatching the original Star Trek movies for reasons, and somehow I don’t think I ever really put it together that Kirk stole the Enterprise and ruined his career with no expectation at all that he was going to get Spock back. The whole plan was to get Spock’s body and bring it and McCoy to Mount Seleya to do whatever Vulcan mystic funeral they need to do to preserve his katra; they didn’t know about Spock’s body being regenerated until they got to Genesis.
So Kirk’s endgame here was to end up both widowed and dishonorably discharged, with no Spock and no possibility of ever sitting on the bridge of a starship again. That is: without any of the things that make Jim Kirk’s life worth living.
He didn’t sacrifice everything to save Spock. He wasn’t supposed to get a damn thing for himself out of this mission. He sacrificed everything because if there’s even a chance that Spock has an eternal soul, then it’s his responsibility. In death as in life.
Some of you know this already. Some of you don’t. But this song was almost the theme for Star Trek: The Next Generation.
No, I am not kidding. I’m serious. It really was. They almost used this as the theme to TNG. It’s even on the first soundtrack, the one with the music from the pilot “Encounter at Farpoint” if you don’t believe me.
Yes, this song was almost the TNG theme.
Seriously.
I mean it’s not horrible horrible, right? But it’s… it’s not the TNG theme, you know?
It really is very 1980s though. I mean, you’d have to do 80s visuals with it, you know? Not just text. Picard would have to come on horseback galloping over the top of a hill. Riker would have to do one of those half-turn-and-smile manuvers. Troi would have shake her hair like a shampoo commercial. Worf would have to do a toothy growl as he chopped wood with a bat’leth. Beverly would have to be fixing Wesley’s uniform collar or something before turning to the camera. Geordi would do the two-handed point-and-grin like Guy in the end opening credits from “Galaxy Quest” and Data would totally be painting a portrait of spot before spot knocked over the paints…
Fair warning, you’re going to have to sit through about half the intro before it actually becomes different.
TNG 5×17 ‘The Outcast’: An androgynous race prohibits any expression of gender, as it is viewed as ‘primitive’.
TOS 3×15 ‘Let That Be Your Last Battlefied’: Two members of the same species view the other as inferior because of which color is on which side of their body.
VOY 7×13 ‘Repentance’: Voyager rescues passengers from a prison ship whose prisoners are on their way to be executed.
TNG 2×9 ‘The Measure of a Man’: Data’s sentience is brought into question when he is forced by Starfleet to undergo an undesired procedure.
TNG 7×20 ‘Journey’s End’: The Enterprise is ordered to relocate a population of Native Americans from their planet of 20 years because of a treaty with the Cardassians.
ENT 2×14 ‘Stigma’: T’Pol is recalled when it is discovered she has Pa’Nar syndrome, a disease transmitted through mind-melds conducted by an unaccepted sub-culture of Vulcans.
DS9 6×13 ‘Far Beyond the Stars’: Benny Russel is fired from his writing job when his story about a black space station commander receives scrutiny from the publisher.
TNG 7×9 ‘Force of Nature’: Two Hekarans board the Enterprise to convince them that their warp drive is damaging their home world and the space around it.
TOS 1×23 ‘A Taste of Armageddon’: The Enterprise discovers a 500 year war on a planet that is run by computers that calculate the fatalities and force those people to die.
VOY 3×6 ‘Remember’: B’Elanna experiences the memories of a telepathic woman’s youth, where her lover and his people are relocated and murdered without repercussion.
Star Trek + Social Commentary (context in the captions)
THIS is what the original Star Trek TV series and films were about. Not just about blowing up things in space and snazzy lens flares with a side order of casual sexism -.-‘.
dude do you know how many people I have pissed off by saying the exact same thing?
Not enough people.
This what all good Sci-Fi is about.
Lets hope the new series picks up themes like this.
No, seriously, we always joke about how our sci-fi TV is just humans in rubber masks, and by extension how real aliens would find it quaint and ridiculous, but who says they wouldn’t get it? The Zurgleplexians get to Earth and watch Star Trek and go, oh, yes! What an excellent use of limited resources to create serialized fiction. Oh, this one over here is both creative and hearts-wrenching! Glorbin, come watch this one!
Of course Zurgleplex had some kind of Star Trek equivalent. Storytelling always pushes the limits of what a society can understand or accomplish at any point in time. It wasn’t until the mid-80s that we got what we’d recognize as CGI these days, but starships and space battles and weird aliens were being depicted all the same, with whatever resources their creators could manage. Give me aliens who love Star Trek.
DarkestElemental616 