You can discover the weirdest things digging into your family history.

For example:

Apparently, I have a great-great-uncle who was cursed by a witch after stiffing her on the repayment of one-dollar loan. (Why he borrowed a dollar from a witch in the first place is not recorded.)

I also have a great-grandfather, a beekeeper by profession, who’s alleged to have spontaneously combusted one day while tending his bees.

As far as I can tell, these events are completely unrelated – the two men are on different branches of the family tree, and never met – but I can’t help but imagine that somewhere out there, there’s a witch with unbelievably bad aim.

Concept: A dystopian novel where the government is able to read the minds of its citizens in order to spy on them. The protagonist is a person with ADHD and the mind-reading technology doesn’t work on them because their thoughts are too disjointed and change so rapidly that they’re impossible to read.

My aunt used to write horoscopes for the newspaper as a part time job. She had a friend in college who a)always read that newspapers horoscope and b)didn’t know my aunt wrote it. So whenever the friend had a shitty episode my aunt would make her horoscope as positive as possible to cheer her up. Long story short they recently got married and are both my aunts now.

batmanisagatewaydrug:

what do mean “long story short” give me this entire sappy gay romance novel right now