Dude, same. But I’m 27 now and still chugging along. You can do it too.
Tag: suicidal ideation
A psychiatrist specialized in gamers
This is supposed to be humorous, but if it works to keep him alive, then it works.
Sometimes preventing suicide simply means reminding people that there are things worth living for and that is anything that makes you happy.
Halo 3 was really important for me in this way. I had to finish the fight.
Half-Life 3?
grants you immortality
Having shit to look forward to is absolutely the way people stay alive.
All people.
Like, it’s scientifically proven.
Having concrete anticipations also gives you a solid reference point against which you can check your mental health status.
The way I knew I had slipped from morbid ideation to suicide risk was when I realized that the release date of kingdom hearts 3 wasn’t enough to make me leave a bottle of hydrocodone alone. The moment of recognition that something I had been dreaming of for 14 years wasn’t enough motivation to make it through the night was how I knew I needed an intervention.
Video games just happen to have concerts dates and strong reactions from people. They’re an excellent and accessible tool.
This is so real, honestly I’m just trying to make it to play Kingdom Hearts III
Years ago when my PTSD/depression was really bad I always made sure I had some kind of cookie dough or cookie dough mix in the house. And then if it escalated and I got the impulse to kill myself, I’d start baking cookies instead. And then I couldn’t do it because the cookies were baking. And once the whole process of preparing the dough, preheating the oven, baking the cookies, and letting them cool was over usually at least half and hour had passed and my meds had kicked in and I’d be like “well I guess I have to live now because I have freshly baked delicious cookies.” And then I’d just snack on suicide cookies a little bit at a time for the rest of the week and weirdly enough it helped.
This is brilliant. I need to do this. I love baking so much. It’s one of my favorite hobbies. I should make a fuckton of cookie dough and freeze it. I also need a recipe for perfect freezable “suicide cookies” because that’s just the perfect dark millennial humor that tickles me.
I’m glad you like this idea because I always want to tell people about the concept of “suicide cookies” (or really any kind of physical self harm cookies) but not everyone has my fucked up sense of humor and I worry about offending people by accident.
College me was like this with cupcakes. I’d bake cupcakes. All the cupcakes. I’d have so many cupcakes I’d be giving them away, and it was always lovely to see how happy people were when I have them cupcakes, because something nice came out of some of my darkest moments.
Ding ding ding ding!
I never, bone deep, truly accepted that I’d ever live past 25. I just turned 46.
MOST of my life is : ok… so… wait… what? What do I do now?
I guess I could start saving for retirement or something, but it’s complicated and what if I don’t live another ten years?
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Me: I used escapist fantasies as a coping mechanism to get through years of trauma and therefore never learned how to plan for a real life future
Alternatively: I went through periods of depression so frequent and intense that I never considered that I’d actually make it to my 20s so now I’m kinda just making it up as I go
It gets even weirder when you hit 30.
DarkestElemental616 