What’s the general consensus in the progressive world on lighting Shabbat candles late?
How can there be a general consensus? It’s Judaism… ^^
LOL! I should know better than to ask 😭😩
Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. In my Jewish Renewal congregation we light Shabbat candles after sunset so we can all do it together. And in general I think most Reform communities are fine with lighting it after sunset. If you are not able to do it at the Halachic time you can do it later.
Oh no I didn’t find you rude at all!! Thank you for the info, though. That’s what I assumed but I wanted to be sure 🙂
What Ive learned is that after sundown has passed (and your extta 18 min) you cannot light candles because it is already shabbat and acordding to halacha you cannot spark a flame on shabbat which is necessary to light candles.
^ This right here.
You will not find a midrash arguing that we should light candles after Shabbat has begun because lighting the candles is supposed to symbolize sanctifying the Sabbath and it would be contradictory to sanctify something that you’re breaking.
Exactly. I actually had a sitaution like this a couple of weeks ago where I wanted to light candles and forgot to do it at home and was at my Rabbi’s house. (The one who works on my college campus) and I was about to light the candles where they had them laid out for people to light when my told me what I wrote above. You cannot light candles after shabbat has started, thats the halacha.
When I was a kid, my family would light candles once it was already shabbat. But now, as an adult, I don’t (tbh I don’t actually light shabbat candles at all because I forgot and I don’t prioritize it, but I mean I wouldn’t light them on Shabbat even if I remembered and wanted to). It’s probably because I kept Shabbat for six and a half years, though (even though I don’t anymore).
And yeah, I’ve definitely been to Reform temples where they lit candles on Shabbat.
I grew up Reform and at my home, we lit candles at around sunset but weren’t too worried about being within the 18 minutes. When I was trying to do the BT/trad egal thing, I lit them just before sunset and had a calendar with the times.
Anyway, there is no general consensus that I’m aware of, and it depends by what is meant by “progressive Jewish community”. Do you mean Reform, Conservative, Renewal, chavurah, trad egal…? Because you’ll probably get twice as many answers as people if you ask people from those denominations/loose groupings. But in my experience it depends greatly on the degree of importance the person places on halacha qua halacha, and on traditional interpretation thereof. (Plus, whose tradition…)
I respect all the people who say that you can’t because of various halachic reasons- I suspect they’re right!- but as a person who’s largely not observant in traditional ways, I think that it’s worth asking yourself a few questions:
Does it make you feel closer to G-d, or to the Jewish community, or to the best part of yourself, to light candles or to be more strictly halachic?
Will not lighting the candles because you remembered half an hour late put a damper on the way you observe the rest of Shabbat?
Which parts of observing matter to you (whether or not they match what you think should be the ones that matter)?
I don’t think any of these questions have right or wrong answers. I just want to put in a vote for “this religion isn’t any one thing to all people, and debating pros and cons and then making hard but informed decisions is a pretty big part of who we are, so as long as you’re thinking about it, I think you’re doing Judaism right.”
I think my answers would be different depending on what the choice is. “It’s almost Shabbat, should we light candles now or wait till later?” and “It’s Shabbat already and we didn’t light candles, should we do it anyway?” and “It’s almost Shabbat, should we light candles now, or not bother at all?” are all different questions, and my answers to your questions will differ depending on which one I’m asking myself.
You’re asking the second question, but to get to it there were earlier questions – at some point there was a reason why I didn’t light the candles earlier, either because I forgot or I decided it wasn’t important or I was too depressed to care or I was busy or I was traveling, or or or…
Also the answers are really different depending on whether we’re talking about current-me or shomer-shabbat-me, and what my mental health situation is.
Sooo I’ll try but it’s not gonna be simple. 😛
Lighting candles before sunset, rather than after or not at all
Does lighting candles (before sunset) make me feel closer to God?
I… maybe? The concept of “closer to god” is so nebulous to me that it’s hard to answer this. I think probably? Yeah, I think so. I think it does help increase my kavanah, and there’s sort of a feeling of peace. Maybe less peaceful if it’s the last second and I’m rushing, but then there’s adrenaline and that’s fun (though it’s probably not closeness to God? I don’t, what is God?)
Does lighting candles (before sunset) make me feel closer to the Jewish community?
Am I at a Shabbaton lighting with others? Then yes, I think it does. Otherwise, it’s more of a sense of connection to the Jewish people as a whole than to any particular community.
Does lighting candles (before sunset) make me feel closer to the best part of myself?
Oh man, we’re going deep, I see. I… think this depends. Did I treat people like shit because they didn’t want to accommodate me being home in time for shabbos? Then no, definitely not. But that’s the case whether or not I end up lighting them later. Did it give me time to daven for my community/family/for the world? Then probably, yeah.
Will not lighting candles at all put a damper on the rest of Shabbat?
Not really? Lighting candles was never really a big thing for me.
Choosing not to light candles, once it’s already Shabbat
Does it make me feel closer to God not to light the candles?
I… don’t think so? But I don’t think it makes me feel farther either
Does it make me feel closer to the Jewish community not to light the candles?
If I’m in a shomer shabbat community and we all forgot to light, then yes. If I’m in a shomer shabbat community and everyone else already lit but I was busy and didn’t, then no, it would make me feel farther. But breaking the communal norm would make me feel far, too. Ok, so let’s imagine a situation where we’re in a pluralistic community and lit as a group before Shabbat, but I was busy taking a shower or something, and I can choose to light a candle where everyone else’s candles are if I want. Then yeah, it might make me feel farther from the community. But if the community values everyone making their own choices and I know it would validate my choice, maybe not. If I’m at home by myself, then no, it wouldn’t make me feel either closer or farther.
If I’m at a Reform temple and people are lighting candles after sunset, then yeah, feeling weird about it does make me feel farther from that particular community.
Does it make me feel closer to the best part of myself not to light the candles?
Neutral, I think? Maybe if I’m at a Reform temple where people are lighting candles together and I’m feeling weird about it, that could tempt me to be judgy? So, maybe not.
Will lighting candles after sunset put a damper on the rest of Shabbat?
If I’m shomer shabbat in this scenario, then yes, absolutely. If not… probably not? But it would still make me uncomfortable for no real gain and I wouldn’t be able to focus on it.
Which parts of observing matter to you (whether or not they match what you think should be the ones that matter)?
Still trying to figure that out, maybe always will be
So the other day, I was thinking about the classic alignment chart, and how it doesn’t really do much for me personally since it’s more about how characters interact with systems rather than how they interact with other people
I had a minute, so I figured I’d throw something together that DID suit my needs!
(Note: This chart regards a character’s intent rather than the outcome of their actions—and for sake of clarity, here are the definitions I’m working with:
Good: concerned with the well-being the collective, often at expense of the self
Evil: concerned with the well-being of the self, often at the expense of the collective
Kind: concerned with the emotional responses of others
Cruel: unconcerned with the emotional responses of others)
I like conceptualizing things this way, cause sometimes Bad People behave with ‘good’ or ‘kind’ intentions, and sometimes Good People do things that seem ‘evil’ or ‘cruel’
Also this gives me a way to compare/contrast characters who get lumped together under the other system
Trans-inclusive language in religious texts is SO IMPORTANT. There is nothing in some young people’s lives that can either validate or dehumanize them so quickly as how they see themselves represented in the words of their religion.
So lately it occurred to me that it seems like you could split people’s ideas about Solarpunk into two categories: “City” Solarpunk and “Country” Solarpunk.
“City” Solarpunk:
Tends to focus more on the idea of cities as humanity’s future, and how to improve them to that end. Better urban design/planning, apartment living, walkability, better streets, better communities, etc. Want to make cities “greener” in both tech and look.
“Country” Solarpunk:
More of a focus on the idea of Earthships and the Homestead, as well as a preference for smaller communities closer to nature. Preference for self-sufficiency for the household and the community.
Both of these outlooks are perfectly valid! (Though I’m partial to City Solarpunk myself) In my opinion, any realistic future is going to include a little of both. This is also very much based on my own observations and ideas, so take this with a grain of salt. I just find the differences in what people think about when they think of Solarpunk very interesting.
yanno those white noise sites like rainymood.com or the cafe shop one? i’d like an Enterprise bridge one, please. Soft beeping, maybe some chill version of amok time theme or something, and every now and then the crew calmly issuing orders or reading something sciency. im watching the lights of zetar and this evasive scene? is super calming and i need it on infinite repeat somehow. someone make this happen.
SO APPARENTLY I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO WANTED SOMETHING LIKE THIS
my personal fave is the mynoise Enterprise noise generator (TOS) which is essentially infinite AND lets you adjust the levels of different component sounds yourself
Polyamory is the desire to have a relationship with more than 1 person at a time. It is consented between ALL partners. If one partner doesn’t consent or know about it, it’s NOT polyamory. Its cheating. This has been a PSA.
It’s also not an easy way out of commitment. It requires more commitment and communication, not less.
When a man starts
explaining a concept you already told him you understand,
instead of saying “I know” over and over until you die, try one of these:
Ok, which aspect is confusing you?
It seems like
you have the basics down; Would you like me to recommend some good articles so you can get a more nuanced understanding?
So did
you have a specific question, or do you just want a more in depth
explanation?
SAVAGE
teacher-zone him
My cousin is an asst psych professor. Her new boss brought up how male students sometimes challenge female professors. He asked how she handles that: she says ‘hold on: let me take notes’, grabs a pen & paper, and proceeds to take no notes. If he asks why, she says ‘Tell me something I don’t know & I’ll have something to write’; no student has tried twice. Her boss laughed and asked her to mention it at the next staff meeting.
Additional tip:
If you need to bring up a topic you think he’ll argue against, ask him if he knows what it is, nod along as he tells you, and then build on the argument he’s just made for you by laying the base.
aka, I had a mansplaining coworker who used to trigger the shit out of my PTSD, so one day I asked him if he knew what “trigger” meant as a psychological term. He proceeded to explain my own panic attacks to me and ended up having a facial Oh Shit when I responded with “Yes, that’s exactly what happens to me when you do X, I’m glad you understand.”
It’s very hard to claim ignorance of the subject when you’ve just been so very proud of showing off your knowledge of that subject.
DarkestElemental616 