My graduate adviser gave me the best, least painful, constructive criticism I have ever received. Whenever she needed to tell me to do something differently, she would start by saying, “a lot of grad students have problems with this…”
That calmed me and helped me fully process what she was about to say. It normalized whatever mistake I was making. It helped me realize that it wasn’t going to jeopardize my acceptance in the lab, my university, or academia.
Most of all, I think it was her way of telling me, “I don’t want you to think of this as a disability thing that makes you different and less than everyone else. I don’t want you to spiral into feeling like you’re not good enough and you don’t belong here. I want you to learn from the mistake without feeling bad about yourself.” That was probably what helped most–knowing she cared enough, and understood me well enough, to say that.
This was the first time anyone had actually responded in a helpful way to my deep spirals of self-hatred and frustration in response to criticism. I still don’t understand how she knew. She’d known me for less than a year when she started communicating this way, and had never actually seen most of the symptoms. Yet she intuited a way to help me get past what people now call “rejection sensitive dysphoria” or “RSD.” And I will never forget it.
I hope someday to offer similarly sensitive constructive criticism to other people.
In the meantime, I try to say it to myself. When I drop a plate or glass and spill the contents all over the floor. When I say the wrong word in a sentence, or can’t remember the right one. When I show up late. Whenever I do some annoying disability-related thing.
Maybe saying it to yourself will help you, too: “Remember, you’re not the only one. A lot of people are working on this.”
From someone who worked at starbucks. If you have a milk/dairy allergy AT ALL. DO NOT. I repeat. DO NOT. Drink Pumpkin Spice.
It contains dairy IN the syrup that is used to make the drink. Even if you get it made with soy, you will still be getting doses of dairy in there.
Depending on the severity and intolerance it can and will cause reactions. I found that as a barista I was constantly warning people about the dairy in the product. No one ever seemed to tell them that there was dairy in the mix. More times than I can count I heard people realize that’s why they kept having reactions, or that’s why it made them sick.
People legitimately do not know that pumpkin spice no matter what you do will always contain some amount of dairy.
i just got a super predatory debt collection letter. it was for a $113 debt from citizens bank, who i had an account with when i was 16 (20 years ago). the letter appeared to be an offer to cancel the debt if i paid them $22.75. HOWEVER, the actual wording is, “The amount of the debt is $113.77 and we will accept $22.75.” so, no MENTION of canceling the debt, but the implication is there because many collectors of current debt offer to settle for a percentage.
at the bottom of the letter, it says: “Because of the age of your debt, we cannot sue you for it and we cannot report to any credit reporting agency. In many circumstances, you can renew the debt and start the time period for the filing of a lawsuit against you if you take specific actions such as making payments on the debt or making a written promise to pay.”
basically… i don’t owe this money anymore, the debt is so old they can’t legally sue me for it OR put it on my credit report, BUT if i take their generous offer of paying them $22.75… they can sue me for the full amount because making a payment makes the debt current.
no thanks, jefferson capital systems llc.
always, always read the entire letter! it is so important because of semantic awfulness like this!
Alright shitstains listen up because I just found god in a bottle.
If you’re a nerd like me your body’s probably riddled with a few nerd tattoos yeah? Some of ‘em in some pretty obvious places? Maybe you work in a professional environment that frowns upon body ink? Maybe you’re a cosplayer and you have some revealing outfits that you need to cover up for, yeah? Tattoos that you can’t afford that $30 Kat Von D Tattoo cover up because you’re a cheap broke shit?
Story of my life bud.
Now I have a pretty obvious Squad 11 tattoo, because I’m a Bleach nerd and Zaraki Kenpachi is my husband, and honestly it’s difficult to hide it in some of my cosplays because it’s bright and black and right smack dab on my shoulder. Poor planning on my part but hey, squad represent.
You see that glorious miracle up there? That’s Mehron Tattoo Cover. You see those pictures underneath it? Tattoo? What fucking tattoo?! It’s gone!!!! Vamoosed!!! Like I never got the ink in the first place!!!!
This shit is durable, and I mean durable. It’s completely waterproof and that first picture of my tattoo is actually what it looked like after scrubbing at it with two makeup wipes. TWO. It’s not going anywhere
And the best part?
IT COMES IN DIFFERENT SKINTONES. BAM. WHAT.
I mean it’s not phenomenal but hey at least it’s not just “pale as fuck”.
Yeah. $12. Not $30. Because $12 is much more reasonable than $30.
As for size reference, that’s how big it is in that third picture right there. It’s honestly the best investment I could have made and everybody should know about it.
Go forth and conquer with your newfound knowledge. You’re all welcome.
As someone who used to chair a stage makeup department, Mehron and Ben Nye are going to be cheaper and better than whatever concealer/orange eye shadow/green lipstick whatever weird tutorial you found or expensive-ass luxury concealer.
Why you ask?
Because Mehron and Ben Nye are stage makeup. They’re meant to give thick, full coverage in one layer that can stand up to cameras and stage lights. Blend it out, powder it, and you’ll never look back. Plus it’s cheap enough that you can buy 2 and mix the perfect shade.
This will work on scars, too.
Just an FYI for folks I know who may want to cover for cosplays, work, or personal reasons.
Honestly this would be a life saver for people with tats stuck looking for jobs in places that frown on them.
I’ve watched people not get jobs at places I work even though their personalities and experience levels were exactly what we were looking for purely because of personal adornment (tattoos, piercings, etc.). So to anyone who might need a product like this, I hope you see this post.
Reblogging in case anyone wants to know how to hide scars specifically.
This is something that more people should be aware of, if only because (in many states, at least) defense attorneys are actually prohibited from mentioning it to jurors. The law allows a jury to return a “not guilty” verdict contrary to the facts of the case, but not for the defense to inform them of that power or to argue for its application in the current trial.
I didn’t know about this. Wow.
always reblog
This is SUPER IMPORTANT and also a good reason to show up for jury duty. You know all those laws you think are stupid? This is your chance to maybe do something about it.
I…. I thought this was common knowledge… signal boosting this because it obviously isn’t!
It’s 37 °C (98,6 °F) outside and me and my north european genes are not coping.
As a Midwestern American, some tips!
1. Drink plenty of water. If you’re thirsty, you’re already dehydrated.
2. If you can get you hands on a spray bottle, fill it with cold water and spritz yourself regularly.
3. Wet washcloths, freeze them, and then put them on the back of your neck and chest to help cool off.
4. Cold showers.
5. If you can get a cheap box fan, they will help!
6. How to make a swamp cooler; fill a bucket with ice, set a fan behind it to blow the ice air around.
Stay safe over there!
7. If you don’t wanna take a really cold shower, even a lukewarm shower will help cool you off afterward because of the water evaporating from your skin!
8. In addition to putting cold stuff on the back of your neck, another good spot to put something cold to cool your body effectively is your crotch. If no one’s gonna be looking at you, get a water bottle full of ice and hold it between your thighs near your crotch for a while.
9. Just like when you’re icing an injury, be careful with ice packs/towels/water bottles–don’t put anything icy against your bare skin, and do fifteen minutes on and fifteen minutes off. Take care not to fall asleep with an ice pack on you!
Your armpits are another good place for cold packs. These spots all have major arteries not far below the skin, so you can cool the blood flowing through them before it’s transported throughout the rest of the body.
Also if you’re out in the sun you may actually want to cover up rather than leave your skin exposed. Sunburn is a huge risk (even if you have darker skin btw!!! Melanin can only do so much!) and even with sunscreen every inch of exposed skin is absorbing heat from the sun. Wear light-colored clothing (which reflects heat rather than absorbing it) that is breathable and loose-fitting to allow air to circulate to aid evaporation of sweat from your skin (which is how it cools you).
Water is your top priority, but sweating also can deplete your salt reserves (literally your body excretes water through your pores by pumping out salt ions which draw water out with them. Science!). You MUST have adequate electrolytes, particularly sodium, potassium, and chloride, which are required for your brain cells to work, among other things. Gatorade and Powerade are full of sugar but the electrolytes in them sure don’t hurt anything (but drink plain water as well if you can).
You can also eat fruits and vegetables with high water content. Grapes can be frozen for a cold treat that’s a little healthier than popsicles. Although, shit, if it takes popsicles and ice cream to keep you cool then fucking go for it, I’m not your mom.
I learned this trick from Mary Poppins at Disneyworld:
Take an icy bottle of water and put it in the inside of your elbow. Hold it there for a few minutes. You’ll cool off instantly.
That is the exact spot my parents found a stray kitten. Nice little addition to the family, but would have been a terrible addition to the pavement had she not been very vocal OTL
No joke, the place where that cat is resting in this picture is called a “dead cat hole” it’s an automotive term. Don’t believe me, look it up.
This is also where I found a stray cat, she was up in there during a thunderstorm and I begged my dad to let me being her inside and that’s the story of how I got my first cat.
Please don’t skip over this without reading it and making a mental note. Even if you don’t have a car, tell your parents or whoever, and make sure to do this. You think that’ll never happen but that’s what everyone thought who had this happen and didn’t check, and that poor cold cat met with a terribly sad end.
REBLOG WHETHER YOU LIKE CATS OR NOT
I found two kittens like this some years ago. Couldn’t afford to adopt them myself, much to the surprise of my coworkers (I was like two hours late to work because of this). I only found them because I thought the tiny little meows were birds and was confused because it was too cold for birds.
DarkestElemental616 