Maybe I’m an old man but goddamn, these vampires with blood dripping down their chins–that’s your food!! THAT’S YOUR FOOD!! Close!! Your!! Mouth!! You think some asshole slobbering chicken noodle soup or yogurt or clam chowder all down themselves would be sexy??? What makes you any different, you sticky-stained slackjawed screwball??? Close your mouth!! Use a napkin!! And for godssakes stop looking so smug, like, “Oooo, I’m a creature of the night look at what sustains me” yeah uh huh a fucking lack of basic hygiene is what I’m seeing and it is not impressive!! At all!! My nephews are three years old and they drool less than you do!! You’re how many centuries old?!?! ACT LIKE IT
Tag: vampires
god nerfed me by making me allergic to garlic and sunlight
so, a vampire?
i can confirm that i am not a vampire as i have blood
Is it your blood?
it is blood, yes
Is it blood that has always belonged to you, from the moment of your spawning?
it is blood, it is in my possession, therefore it is my blood
Showers, Flowers, and Fangs: YA novel now up for pre-order!
Darren is your average half-human, half-fae trans teenager, busy figuring out his powers and puberty while trying to survive finals. When Vlad, a newly turned vampire, moves in with the witch down the street, he and Darren get off on the wrong foot. Darren is always one to give somebody a second chance, though, and as they become friends, he realizes Vlad is just lonely and struggling with his new powers. That’s something Darren can definitely relate to, and he’s happy to lend his support. But while he coaxes Vlad out of his shell, Darren ends up learning about Vlad’s past… and the danger Vlad is in. Darren only wants to help—help Vlad feel comfortable in his own skin and help him feel safe.
He hadn’t planned on falling in love.
Available now for pre-order at Harmony Ink Press! Click the link to read the excerpt, or check it out under the cut below. Cover reveal coming soon.
Even better, Harmony Ink is having a sale right now! The paperback is 30% off AND if you buy it you get the ebook for FREE. Reserve your copy today!
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