The international criminal just got away with it yet again and the angry FBI agent goes
FBI Agent: You maybe gotten away with it this time but I will get you. No matter where you go, what you do I will be watching you. Sooner or later you will slip up
Lawyer: How dare you? This is clear harassment. I will
International criminal(who has a huge crush on her FBI agent): Shut up. She can follow me anywhere she likes. Like for example I am going to the theater tonight. So many rich people. Who knows what might happen. You better keep a close eye on me. Oh look I just happen to have an extra ticket
Confused FBI Agent:...Ok
Next week:
International Criminal:
So I am going to this cute Mexican resort for the weekend. Who knows what shady people I could be making deals with. Better follow me to make sure. And look there just happens to a vacant room right next to mine. Better book it quickly
FBI Agent: What the fuck?
Next week
International Criminal: So I am going to this French restaurant tonight. So many rich people. Better come keep an eye on me
FBI Agent: You are aware that we are not dating right?
International Criminal: Of course not. I booked us a table under Scully and Mulder. I thought it would be fun
Next week
International Criminal:
I am going to Paris. Do you want the window seat?
FBI Agent: Again we are not dating. I am hunting you down just waiting for you to slip up
International Criminal:
So…
FBI Agent: Of course I want the window seat
Next week
International Criminal:
Boy the Louvre sure is crowded. So many tourists. I can easily slip away from you and do some crime. Better hold my hand to make sure I don’t get away
FBI Agent: I will kill you
Twenty Years Later
International Criminal:
I am going to the store. Better follow me to make sure I don’t steal anything
FBI Agent: We have been married for fifteen years. When are you going to stop this?
International Criminal:
Never
And of course they are played by Amy Acker and Sarah Shahi
Dad jokes unchanged
Cronchy Snacks
Still uses “John Smith” as human alias; oblivious to the fact that there is anything weird about this
Transdimensional pockets
Ridiculous socks
Goes from adorable to terrifying in 0.3 seconds when you threaten her friends (like always)
Zero jokes about her anatomy
Osgood takes her shopping for bras and stuff though
As ace as the Doctor has ever been, but casually mentions she has a wife
Annoyed at being short again
we really need a medical show set in ancient greece or rome like can you imagine
whenever the doctors are on clinic duty they get mad bc patients come in like “i haven’t been feeling well, i think somebody cursed me on apollo’s name” and the doctors always have to be like “you have malaria”
constant snake escapes in the hospital’s shrine to asclepius
everyone’s least favorite job is leech duty
doctor’s writing prescriptions for things like gladiator blood and crocodile poo
you know how the running joke about house md is that everyone wanted every diagnosis to be lupus and it was never lupus? that but with the wandering womb
IMPERIAL PHYSICIAN GREGORIVS DOMVS takes the cases no other doctor can solve…
A black Hermione Granger trying to teach a bi-racial Harry Potter how to care for his natural hair
This includes introducing him to the beauty that is castor oil, shea butter, and peppermint oil
“Harry….you can’t brush your hair while it’s dry.”
Harry sitting between Hermione’s legs in the common room doing homework while Hermione greases his scalp
Hermione making his curls looks beautifully defined for the first time and Harry thinking it’s literally the most magical thing she’s ever done
Hermione mixing up oils for Harry’s hair like a freaking Potions Master because she knows the Dursley’s only give Harry the barest off essentials to take care of himself
Harry secretly having a Gryffindor colored (red on the outside and gold on the inside) silk bonnet that was a gift from Hermione one Christmas
Harry is so adorably embarrassed by said bonnet that he transfigures it into silk pillow cases for his bed
Hermione wants to be upset that he won’t just wear the bonnet but is too impressed at Harry’s transfiguration to be mad
Hermione forcing Harry to teach her the spell he used to do it and forgiving him
Hermione Granger just generally being the beautiful black Goddess I imagine her to be in my head and spreading her black girl magic everywhere by helping Harry naviglate things about his identity he’s super lost about
New trend or trope I would KILL to see in sci-fi novels:
Rich industrialists fund space travel and gain the means to leave the planet and colonize Mars to leave a ‘dying/depleted’ Earth behind. Only the 1% have the means to afford a ticket on board the ships and ‘start fresh’ on the red planet in domed cities or whatever.
And then with the people most responsible for destroying the planet and depleting its resources gone, the remaining 99% of people ‘left behind’ on Earth construct new socialist societies, implement clean energy and redistribute the existing resources while of restoring the planet’s renewable resources and healing the damage done by pollution and irresponsible waste management.
Cut to a few hundred years later where Earth has a thriving population on a thriving planet that is not at all the doomed and dying and ‘used up’ place the Mars colonists thought it was when they left for the planet they’re still attempting to terraform so they can step out of their scattered little bubble cities that don’t allow for any real growth, innovation or exploration.
Earthborn character to a Martian: “Guess the grass isn’t always greener on the other side, huh? Oh wait, you guys still don’t have grass over there yet, do you? Whoops, my bad.”
assuming Mars society hasn’t collapsed in on itself when a bunch of billionaire entrepreneurs discover they don’t have the skills to plump a toilet
DarkestElemental616 